I am mystified by the need for people to become 'instant experts'. I have noticed in the BDSM community, that a new person often falls one of two ways- far to scared and shy to act, insecure in explorations and looking for all the knowledge and expereinces that they can (this is not bad, not at all) OR... the instant expert.
Imagine a Dom, or a Submissive, having never expereinced anything in BDSM, in the course of a few months go from someone clueless to someone claiming to know everything, from all the terms, to all the fetishes, to all the how to's and so on. Imagine being so solidly into this concept that all community resources were rejected- no peer review, no support, not even reading books or anything to expand understandings.
This concept effectivly cuts a person off from any challenges, self challenges, learning challenges- and cuts them off from growth and experience- and if they are 'loud' enough about their expertise, then it may cut off those who associate with them as well.
I see instant experts everywhere. The new puppy owner who 'just knows' how to raise a dog, the just com eout of the closet little gay girl who 'just knows' all there is to know about realtionships...
I don't know. I am well edjucated in lots of things, but I crave more knowledge, and I desire social support. I don't care if I fall into a 'know it all' stance, I still want to know what you know- because it makes for interesting conversations... and
knowledge, real knowledge is power
silly me
I forget instant experts might be so insuce in their desires, abilites and internal balance to even challnege themselves with the concept of ...wow, there might be more to this than what I thought...
So to all those instant experts, thos uber-doms and wonder-subs, those temper tantrum driven 'gimmee gimme' but hell if I know what I am asking for....
Go read a fucking book on the subject, then talk to a few peers and get over yourself.
I'm going to go think about cruising imaginary little goth girls now and wait for the sun to go down.
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Kadeth,
ReplyDeletethey annoy me to sometimes I never heard of them and they were children when I was first taking my s&m 101 classes. I am no expert even with all my experiences, there is whole lot I wish I could experience, know,etc. but I never had personality that anyone really has ever been interested in doing more then use or abuse it seems and like stupid idiot I put up with it for years until I got to sick physically to put up with lot of the crap.
I don't care about the new and up-coming experts, because ultimately they just not going to have what I need long run. Maybe I will occasional go to event or workshop but ultimate there is not whole lot in what I need out there in superficialness most of community. Very few will ever be truly willing to do what it takes to earn my respect, trust or friendship.
I don't really care what they claim to be experts to do or know after numerous years I know ultiately because in big picture they only care their own celebrity status not someone like me, my heart or needs. Yet sometimes it really annoys me.
Learning and improving one's self and skills is great but at this point in my life sometimes I think what is point at times if it just to impress others who don't give crap about me? I do stuff because I want to ultimately or won't for myself at end of night that is person I am stuck with. Yet sometimes wish things had turned out like I gotten ill and I could had few nicer moments in my life but no expert was there who helped me that is okay its not about me its about them getting as much stuff for themselves.
I miss you, I hope you're doing well, everything is going okay you're being treated special by those who love and care for you the most because those are people who truly matter.